
And on to the Valkyrie poster, which looks, well, COOL! There I said it people! Maybe this movie won't be so bad after all... or maybe the only good thing about this movie is the poster...









































A while back, there was a thoughtful article in the above-mentioned publication about Ellen Page and myself. The article was mostly about how passionately some people hate me. As I explained to my therapist the following day (ha) it's kind of weird to read something like that about yourself. On one hand, you feel defensive. On the other hand, you feel puzzled. You feel compelled to identify what it is about you that might inspire such vitriol. (I personally suspect the hate isn't that widespread; it's just loud.)
I thought about it. For months. I even wrote a screenplay on the theme. And then, finally, I figured it out.
I have a response to those who are still boring enough to lob insults in my direction. (Those of you who are friends, fans, enablers, or dislike my writing for legitimate, rational, nonpersonal reasons can tune out now if you like. This isn't for you.)
Anyone else? Bend thine ear:
I am not Charlie Kaufman or Sofia Coppola (much as I supplicate at their Cannes-weary feet.) I'm not Paul Thomas Anderson. I'm not even Paul W.S. Anderson. I am middle-class trash from the Midwest. I'm a competent nonfiction writer, an admittedly green screenwriter, and a product of Hollywood, USA. I am "Diablo Cody" and if you're not a fan, go rent Prospero's Books again and leave me the fuck alone.
I may have won 19 awards that you don't feel I earned, but it's neither original nor relevant to slag on Juno. Really. And you're not some bold, singular voice of dissent, You are exactly like everyone else in your zeitgeisty-demo-lifestyle pod. You are even like me. (I, too, loved Arrested Development! Aren't we a pretty pair of cultural mavericks? Hey, let's go bitch about how Black Kids are overrated!)
I'm sorry that while you were shooting your failed opus at Tisch, I was jamming toxic silicon toys up my ass for money. I get why you're bitter. I took exactly one film class in college and-- with the curious exception of the Douglas Sirk unit—it bored the shit out of me. I also once got busted for loudly crinkling a bag of Jujubes during a classroom screening of Vivre Sa Vie. I don't deserve to be here. We've established that. But I'm here. Five million 12-year-olds think I'm Buck Henry. Accept it.
(Incidentally, if you were me for one day you'd crumble like fucking Stilton. I am better at this than you. You're not strong enough, Film_Fan78. Trust me.)
I'm sorry to all those violent, semi-literate fanboys who hate me for befriending their heroes. I can't help it if your favorite writer, actor, director, or talk show host likes me. Maybe you would too, if we actually met.
I know my name is fake and that it annoys you. What, do you hate Queen Latifah and Rip Torn, too? Writers and entertainers have been using pseudonyms for years. Chances are, you're spewing bile under an assumed screen name yourself. I'm sorry if you think I'm like some inked-up quasi-Suicide Girl derby cunt from 2002, but I like my fake name. It's engraved on an Oscar. Yours isn't.
Listen: I've been telling stories my whole life. Even when I was a phone sex operator, I was the Mark Twain of extemporaneous jerk-off fiction. I took every perspiring creep on a fucking journey. I don't know how to do anything else.
I'm going to make more movies and shows. I doubt they'll all be good, but that's the nature of this life. Even though the public only knows me from one book, one movie, and several aborted blogs, I've spent the last few years hustling like Iceberg Slim out here to prove myself professionally. The people I currently work for, and with, are more than pleased with my post-Juno output. My pilot was so good (thanks, Toni Colette!) that it got picked up for series. That is rare, children. That is blue-rare.
In summation: you try it.
This is the last I have to say on the subject, unless I'm provoked by a journalist in which case I'll gladly reload. With relish, as Betty Rizzo might say. That said, I'm a 30-year-old woman with a dwindling interest in blog culture, and I don't have time to address this bullshit every time one of my projects comes out. I'm in love, I just bought a house, and my boss made E.T. I kind of have to focus on reality.
And drinking. I have to focus on drinking.

Cyrus Tipped For Teenage Sex Role
20 September 2008 7:02 AM, PDT
Sex + The City author Candace Bushnell wants teen sensation Miley Cyrus to play the young Carrie Bradshaw if her prequel novels are turned into movies of TV shows.
Bushnell has just signed a deal to pen two teen novels about her character Bradshaw's high school years and she'd love for Cyrus to take the lead in a TV or film spin-off.
When asked to name her new Carrie - a part Sarah Jessica Parker has played on the big and small screen - Bushnell said, "I don't know... What about Miley Cyrus?"
And it appears Cyrus is game - in a recent interview she said, "I'd love to do a younger, cleaner version of Sex + The City."
"Now, a lot of people come up here and thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus. He didn't help me a bit. If it was up to him, Cesar Milan would be up here with that damn dog. So all I can say is suck it, Jesus, this award is my god now!" -- Kathy Griffin
Why do I love Kathy Griffin so much? How can anyone not love Kathy Griffin? She is so awesome! I am very happy that she won last week for her awesome reality show, Kathy Griffin: My Life On The D-List, which is like the only reality show that I watch, but she still has one more catagory to go... She has been nominated for Outstanding Variety, Music or Comedy Special for Kathy Griffin: Straight To Hell, which is just absolutely hilarious, and this time she may have a chance to give one of her famous speeches at the REAL Emmys, and not the "Schmemmys" as she likes to call the Creative Arts Emmys...
And if you have not been able to see Kathy Griffin: Straight To Hell, like me a little over an hour ago, well you're in luck, because it's on Youtube! Gotta love the power of youtube!

I think it will be a good night for the Emmys. I've noticed that the Emmys tend to be at it's best when it is on ABC, and NBC... Think about it. Last year it was on FOX, it sucked, and when it is was on CBS, it was alright, but when it has been on ABC and NBC it has always been great... So even with five hosts on Sunday night, the overall theme to "celebrate television" over the past 60 years, I have high expectations for it... It should be exciting! And I will post my predictions very soon!
-And also I thought I would bring up W. If you look on youtube, Oliver Stone has a new contest where you can create your own "mashup" for W., and if you win, you get a prize... But there are snipet-clips up on the page, so if you want to check that out, go to: http://www.youtube.com/WtheFilm.And speaking about W., here is a new cast photo from Vanity Fair: